Thawing Freeze: Gentle Ways to Get Unstuck

You’re sitting at your desk, staring at the same sentence for what feels like hours. Your arms feel heavy, like they’re filled with wet sand. Your breath barely moves. Time feels slippery, you’re not sure if five minutes or five hours have passed. The world seems distant, like you’re looking at it through glass. Part of you wants to move, speak, do something… but your body won’t cooperate.

This is the freeze response. A survival state where your body and nervous system shut things down to protect you, even if there’s no real danger in the moment.

For a long time, I used to think I was just lazy when I felt like this. I’d beat myself up for not being able to “just get moving.” Learning that freeze is a survival response, not a personality flaw, has been one of the biggest gifts in my own healing. It gave me the compassion to say:

“I’m not lazy. I’m in a survival state. My body’s trying to protect me.”

If you’ve ever felt stuck, numb, or frozen, you deserve that same compassion. Let’s talk about why freeze happens, and gentle ways to help yourself shift out of it.

What is Freeze?

We’ve all heard of fight or flight. But there’s another survival mode: freeze.

Freeze happens when your body senses it can’t fight or escape. So it shuts things down instead.

This is sometimes called hypoarousal. In freeze:

• Your heart rate drops.

• Your breathing gets shallow.

• Your muscles go limp.

• Emotions go numb.

It’s not something you choose. Your body’s just trying to keep you safe.

What Does Freeze Feel Like?

Freeze might feel like:

• Heavy limbs

• Feeling stuck or glued in place

• Numbness or emptiness

• Trouble speaking or moving

• Emotional flatness

• Feeling disconnected, like watching life from the outside

You might think:

• “Why can’t I just snap out of it?”

• “I feel lazy or broken.”

• “Everything feels far away.”

You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. This is your nervous system protecting you.

Why Freeze Happens

Your body’s nervous system (the autonomic nervous system) is wired to keep you alive. It has three main modes:

• Fight/Flight (sympathetic): Get away from danger

• Safe/Social (ventral vagal): Connect, relax, feel present

• Freeze (dorsal vagal): Shut down when escape feels impossible

If you’ve lived through trauma, especially situations where you felt trapped, your body might still default to freeze, even when you’re safe now.

Gentle Ways to Shift Out of Freeze

Here’s the good news: You can help your body slowly move out of freeze. Go gently. Small steps are powerful.

Orient to Your Environment

• Name five colors you see.

• Notice shapes, light, textures.

• Tell yourself:

  “I’m in (Month) 2025. I’m safe enough right now.”

Read more about orienting here.

Use Your Senses

• Hold something textured.

• Smell a comforting scent.

• Sip something warm or cold and really taste it.

The five senses are doorways back into the present moment. Spending time with your senses of smell, taste, touch, or hearing can help bring you back to the here and now.

Move a Little

• Wiggle your fingers.

• Roll your shoulders.

• Gently tap your feet.

• Gently shake your hands.

• Rock side to side.

Shaking can help release tension and signal a sense of safety, and tiny movements tell your brain it’s okay to “come back online.”

Ground with Touch

• Put your hands on your chest or thighs.

• Feel the pressure and warmth.

• Say quietly:

  “I’m here. It’s okay to go slow.”

Breathe

• Inhale for 4, exhale for 6.

• Or just notice your breath without trying to change it.

Avoid big, forced breaths if that feels overwhelming.

Speak Kindly to Yourself

• “This is my body protecting me.”

• “I’m allowed to take things one step at a time.”

• “I’m not failing.”

Doable Connection

• Text a friend.

• Call someone you trust.

• Sit quietly with a safe person.

Connection can help bring you back from freeze.

Aftercare

Shifting out of freeze can leave you tired or emotional. Give yourself care:

• Drink water.

• Eat something nourishing.

• Rest.

• Journal what helped and what didn’t

Remind yourself:

“My body is starting to remember how to let energy and life move through again.”

You’re Not Broken!

Freeze is your body’s survival instinct, not a flaw. Learning that has changed the way I talk to myself, and it might help you, too.

When freeze begins to ease, even a little, life can feel more reachable. You might suddenly:

• Notice color and light again

• Feel a small urge to move or speak

• Find interest in things you’d lost

• Experience relief that your body is waking back up

These moments matter.

If freeze is a familiar place for you, remember: your body can learn how to let life force flow through again.

Sam, RCC is a somatic therapist offering holistic trauma therapy in-person in Vancouver and online throughout BC.

Could you use some personalized nervous system support?

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